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peoples perception and personality- 16 personalities
Recently I have been on a “ personality type high” whatever that means. Let’s start with my personality type. After my friend pasted the link into the discord chat a few of us were drawn into the sudden idea of knowing ourselves. I am an INFJ-T and from what I gleaned for the interwebs about my newfound understanding. “I” stands for introverted thinking, “N” for intuition, “F” for feeling, and “J” for Judgement with the bonus “T” for Turbulent. I will add I always hold my side of skepticism salt next things in the nature identifying yourself, but still, find it fun and interesting nonetheless.
Anywho what does this mean? According to 16 personalities I am “The Advocate”. A supposed rare type of personality that makes up less than 1 percent of the population; The advocate is an individual that seeks to do better to others around them. They are fueled by morality and idealism. The most rewarding feeling to the advocate, according to the text, is “to engage in efforts that help people whether it be rescuing them or to resolve an issue in people”. Honestly, it seems about right…
This was probably the most eye-opening part that I read. I love helping people and I don’t mean simply “ let me help you with that” or “ can I get the door for you” ( although I would also do those gestures) I can’t quite explain it but is more of “ Hey, something seems off about you do you need someone to listen?” or “ It looks like something is pressing your mind, lets talk”
This is interesting because one of the turning points in my life was a serious relationship I was in. Although it ended in a mutual break up it wasn’t all smooth sailing. It was this relationship that “unlocked” a part of me that was there but never fully expressed due to the lack of experience in interpersonal relationships towards a person with deeper feelings. This relationship taught me that I am a supporter. I don’t believe I am a leader type nor do I want all the attention on me rather I will strive to help those become the best version of themselves. That doesn’t mean I won’t take charge of the situation is necessary. As well I am more of a doer than a dreamer. The relationship taught me that I prefer to avoid conflict because at that time I believed conflicts were purely negative, however it was through the relationship I learned that conflicts are not always a bad thing. I see conflict now as a way to extract issues shrouded in confusing and misunderstandings. For example, when talking to people I try to think from their perspective and well as my perspective to understand how their points line up. What I find is that my brain is good at picking up are contradictions. Therefore, when talking to a person that I see consistently if their actions do or do not line up with their thoughts or actions, I tend to notice the nuances in their behavior especially if it goes against what they say. In those situations, someone may point out all the things you are doing wrong and say not to do that, but this is where my logic shifts from someone more extroverted. I see it from my perspective too and I dislike when people give logical “cold” responses. Not to say they are bad, there is just less of an opportunity to communicate to people effectively with facts such as “ hey you’re rushing at what you’re doing and it is making the job look sloppy and rushed” is it true and justifiable? Yes. , but is it right in helping the persons? No. Because it only offers a harsh glaring singular point that pushes the said person into the corner. Something I would say instead would be more in the lines of “ Is everything ok? You seem to be frantic about something”. The questions in my head would be, is this a normal thing? Did they realize what that did? Are there factors that can contribute to these behaviors? Therefore, if I see a contraction from a person it becomes glaringly obvious and if I were in the position to “help” them I would first see their line of thought through asking questions or listening to concerns they had. Instead of calling out I would invite them in.
This is probably the glaring weakness of an INFJ-T. We spend a lot of time listening to other people that we become fixated and lost in their world. There is a high degree of becoming overwhelmed for other people’s sake and losing yourself as your desire to help people becomes an obstacle to your self. Even though as an INFJ you appear extroverted, I can attest this to friends saying so, we are also introverted by nature. Think about photography, yes, I do photography, you have to be involved with the subject especially the model talk to them, interact in a way that makes them feel comfortable, talk, laugh, enjoy, have fun. That requires external energy and engagement. After the shoot, you pull the picture on the computer and its just you and the image. You take this time to decompress, reflect, understand, and review. INFJs are just that! Think about taking photographs as communicating. All the pictures are things you listen to an after a while you hit your maximum storage on the memory card. It’s important to “offload” card or be alone and decompress while you have your time.
This is extremely important because we take a look at people from both sides we also “feel” everything twice per se. Therefore negative conflicts which can involve Criticism is one of the hardest things to deal with. We try to make people feel better without using harsh logic. We know what is right but take the precedence in thinking if its also right for this time. However, when this bites us back when people pull criticism or harsh logic as a statement. We tend to become defensive because we know it’s true and we feel bad about it, yet the same time we don’t want to make the other person feel bad too, therefore, we are stuck in this loop of feeling the negative twice from the other person perspective and your perspective. The feeling is magnified because we have self-doubt in ourselves and self-loathe about issues/ mistakes we have done in the past. People that hold grudge or cling onto things in the past are the most difficult to communicate to as on one hand INFJs can sense something is bothering them and wishes to help, but on the other hand they know if the other person hears something they don’t like they will instead reverse the cards pushing down the INFJ with past experiences and criticism.
So yeah personality tests are interesting. I don’t know how accurate they are and yet, it makes me feel a bit better learning more about myself. Identity is something I struggled with when I was younger and to some extent to this day. What I mean by identity is the understanding of your role in life. I don’t mean to get existential, think of it more as if base on the circumstance how are you supposed to act because I grew up in a somewhat unconventional childhood. I was essentially the man of the house growing up with two younger sisters and grandparents. Therefore, was I suppose to act like an adult yet be a kid? Or continue to be a kid because I was a kid? Of course, your actions and how you reflect them is up to the person and least of identity, but this is how it felt in my mind. Some strange conflict.