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Marisa, why?
Let me tell you a story about a girl.
A long time ago while I was walking down the halls to my school I caught glimpse of a beautiful figure in the distance. This figure was a girl named Marisa. I didn’t know it at the time but this girl would end up dramatically impacting my life, for better and for worse. In that moment however, she was nothing more than a unicorn. A beautifully unattainable being. One you only get to find once in a lifetime.
From that day forward I would walk down that same hallway every day just for a chance of seeing her again. Sometimes I would get lucky, sometimes I wouldn’t. Sometimes I would even catch her glance and she would smile back at me. I longed for that smile. It would make my day. Something to look forward to. It was a silly notion, but I was young and had never experienced infatuation like that before. This went on for a year.
After a while I couldn’t find her anymore. Classes started changing, time started moving, and I was still stuck on that stupid smile, suspended in time, eagerly waiting for a chance to see it again. Just like a unicorn, she seemed to be gone as soon as she was there. Months and months would go by without seeing her. I began to wonder if she even existed. Maybe she had not gone to that school anymore. I didn’t know, but I had to just accept it and move on. Or so I thought.
As luck would have it, that was not the end of the story. One day I would see her again. Her, along with a surprising amount of people I happen to know were loitering in the hallway. I remember seeing her and being stunned. There she was talking to so many people I already knew as If she were always apart of the same friend group. She had looked at me then and smiled. It was just as warm and magical as I had remembered it to be. This time I would get to introduce myself and meet this person as more than just a series of glances and meaningful smiles. Needless to say, it was awkward, but she didn’t seem to care.
It didn’t take long for us to start talking regularly. I had to get to know this girl, and I wouldn’t let my social anxiety get in the way of it. So I did and It was great. She was smart, pretty, energetic, single, and a complete pistol of a woman. Everything seemed to be going right for me. At least I had thought.
At the time I had no idea what a rebound was in terms of dating or the fact I was becoming one. I didn’t care though. This girl had managed to make me feel like no other person had made me feel before then in such a short period of time. She had cared about me. Was interested in my crappy poetry, my bad taste in music, even about my grades of all things. I remember having a hard time in chemistry and this girl would go out of her way every single morning to tutor me before school. She wanted me to succeed. She believed in me, and that would make things so much harder.
We only knew each other for a couple of months, or at least from what I remember. I just know it felt longer. The way she kissed me, touched me, talked to me, it was all so overwhelming. It was all so new, and just as fast as it seemed to start — it stopped. I don’t know exactly where I had gone wrong, but one day she was there and the next she was gone.
I tried to get in contact with her. I tried to spot her in the halls, but there was no sign of her. She had completely ghosted me, and when I finally figured out what happened she had already found herself a boyfriend and pretending as if nothing had ever happened between us. I was devastated. The one person that I felt believed in me wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
I was depressed for days, weeks, months, years; unable to get over this girl that I had only known for a short period of time, and it had completely ruined my thoughts towards woman and relationships for me for a long time. I had sworn to myself I would never let myself feel that broken ever again.
This piece of art was my attempt to turn my feelings and thoughts into physical form but I didn’t seem to know how, so I wrote. I wrote her name over and over again because it was all I could think about. She had consumed my every thought. It would torment me endlessly. So I kept writing. Marisa. Marisa. Marisa. As many times as it would take before I felt better. I never did. I actually got worse and I never got to finish the piece.
Jump ahead years later to present day and I would stumble upon an unfinished work of art stuffed inside an old sketch book and it reminded me of how I felt some odd years ago and I felt that It needed to be finished. I owed it to my younger self to finish the thing he could never do.
This piece is about the pain I was feeling, but it is also about acceptance. It took me a long time to realize how unhealthy the whole thing was for me, and how I wasn’t a victim of somebody’s actions more than I was about my own self-worth. I was possessive and entitled
Marisa, why? I didn’t know, and I probably never will know, but it doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago. I’ve moved on and become a better person because of it and I wish nothing but the best for this girl, wherever she might be.
I hope you enjoyed the art and my little story :]
Photography Phridays! 12.21.18
With Christmas just around the corner what better way to celebrate than a Christmas party!
The party was hosted by Hillsong Church LA for all the volunteers. A nice way to relax before the chaos of the holiday show.
All of these pictures were taken on my trust em1 mark ii with 17mm f1.8!
Photography Phridays! 12.14.2018
First off Happy Holidays!! Winter is coming -cough cough- although I would hardly say its really winter in SoCal. Anywho, were gonna look at cats today, more specifically an old fart names Tigger. Personally, I have never owned cats, but majority of my friends have a cat or an army of cats.
My family and I are more dog people, but I don’t have any qualms with cats. Though, when I was younger up until middle school I was an avid cat hater because my neighbor’s demon spawn of a cat gave me a nasty scratch on the top of my hand. I gradually grew out of it when my best friend adopted a black cat, named shadow, around middle school.
Cat are strange lovable creatures. They don’t give love they, offer it and just like those sale offers in store it changes all the time! I feel like most of the time cats merely tolerate us walking in their territory. But over all I like cats for their chill nature, unless you get stuck with a demon cat. Where is a “bad dog” would be an aggressive person and “bad cat” could be a passively aggressive person. One is directly annoying and the other gets messes around in your head.
Overall, cats are super sweet if you prefer a more mellow creature. They plan before they do anything and its is super funny to see their reactions to things..especially empty boxes. I mean if it fits it ships right!
Still my favorite part about cats are their floppy bodies and random noises they make! This cat Tigger will scream “bloody murder” as my friend would say randomly through out the night. Also it seems as if they are always plotting something like their movements are calculated.
Oh then they leave you alone for like hours just to sleep!!
Photography Fridays!!- LA Autoshow 2018
Cars one of humanities greatest inventions. Personally, I would say I am a pseudo-car guy meaning I read up on cars, watch reviews, and I am willing to work on cars, but I haven’t seriously worked on cars other than the simple tire change and other basic stuff. Before high school, I was definitely as far from a car guy as you can get because I was essentially an anime loving nerd that had no clue what that the emblems on cars meant other than imports last long and are cheap, domestics if it breaks good luck… BUT RAW POWER!! German cars, the ones with the nostrils (BMW) and edgy eyes (Audi).
Thankfully in high school my counselor suggested I should take a fun class to balance out the boring class;TLDR I chose Autotech and boy was that a fun class!! The teacher Mr.Q was funnies most down to earth Autotech teacher there is!! On top of his stories growing up in East LA and picking up Tamales for us in the morning( Chicken with green sauce please!) he made us comfortable around all the crazy noise and flammable things in the shop. We where taught hands on and in lecture about all basic simultaneously so there was no boring lectures of 6 weeks then hands on time, looking at you Chemistry!
After that and learning to drive in my first car good’ole 96 accord v6 with lukewarm AC and black paint loved that car <3 it
It actually proved useful when I work at an after school care facility cause I recognized which car belonged to what child making the process a lot smoother.
Now a days I enjoy reading blogs site like consumerreviews.com, caranddriver.comor cnet.com/roadshow to get my automotive fix’ins as well as the usual affair of automotive channels on YouTube like Alex on Autos, RedlineReview, Kelly Blue Book, Edmunds, Etc
So yeah that’s a little bit about myself and cars. Quite the random experience,but something I absolutely enjoy they next experience is going to consistently photograph more cars cause all those curves and edges not to mention the tech inside of cars today is off the charts!!
Photography Fridays
The usual round about of street photography!!
Out of Macro,Astro,Portrait, Street Photography is definitely be my favorite type!! There is something about composing shots and taking the picture at the moment that make street photography unique..also the fact that I feel like a ninja…
Feeling all the of elements together in a single moment and capturing it.
Simply remember to have fun with photography! The learning with come gradually as you get more experience! Also show people your damn photos! It will helps you develop a sense of what works and what doesn’t.
Those Nerds Over There
Hello and welcome friends, one and all! My name is Salvador and do I have some exciting news for you, but only if you Gotta Moment!
Last month I embarked on an incredible journey of starting my own podcast titled: Those Nerds Over There! A podcast where I and my two friends Cazel and Allen talk about our passion for all things nerd culture!
Do you like video games, comic books, movies, t.v shows, music, and other nerd related content? Do you want a place where you can geek out with someone about the latest nerd news, find out some interesting facts about your favorite subjects, or perhaps get exposed to something awesome that you’ve never heard of before? Well, this is the podcast for you!
Join us as we nerd out, gush, laugh, and answer an array of questions sent in by our listeners! It is a glorious time as we celebrate all the things that connect us! Hope to see you there!
Photography Firdays:Post Thanksgiving edition
Urgghh…Thanksgiving, taught in elementary school as a day to celebrate the Native Americans and Pilgrims through eating and being together. Whether it actually happened exactly the way we were taught as kids or not I can say the majority of people definitely follow the eating aspect!
If by some miracle everyone we woke up not groggy and super thirsty let me recap on Thanksgiving 2018. Here is a glimpse of my Thanksgiving holiday!
Photography Fridays!!
This edition is Concert photography taken from Hillsong Church LA. On the technical side concerts typically mean low light so everyone so you might be thinking a full frame sensor with a 70-200mm f2.8. That does create some nice clean and beautiful images but you definitely do not need a full frame and super fast aperture.
5 NaNoWriMo Tips
Hey everyone! I hope all you NaNoWriMo’s out there are caught up on your word count! If not don’t worry! You have until the end of the month! In the meantime, I would like to share with you some tips I have found effective in helping me through my NaNo journey that hopefully can help you with yours too!
Now, I am no expert at NaNoWriMo and nor do I claim to be, however, I have participated in NaNo for several years now. Eight to be exact, but whos’ counting? Although I have not won every year I can say I have learned some tricks for writing during NaNo and have found that these five things usually get me through whenever I’m in doubt.
1. Just Write
NaNo is all about putting words onto the page. You can’t do that if you are just thinking about writing. You need to be actually writing. I know it’s hard, but as soon as you start, get to that place you want to be it will be hard to pull you away from the page. Just putting down words is the first step. Whether that be a couple sentences before work, before you go to bed, or during
2. Silence Your Inner E
This is probably one of the hardest things to do, but once you start it becomes second nature. Know that the only person holding you back from writing is yourself. Remember that, because you are going to be your greatest enemy. This applies to most things in
Look, I get it. When you write you are going to look at it and think it is a hot sack of garbage, but you know what? It is garbage that exists. Garbage that can always be turned into a fine gem. Just not now. Editing is for later when you have completed your mission. For now, just write!
3. Writing Scenes
We all get to that point where we have no idea what we are writing. We ask ourselves “Where do I go from here.” and that point can be very discouraging. You will sit there and think for hours where this story is going and what you should do next, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Remember, we are not going to publish this book tomorrow, so it doesn’t have to make sense.
The way I cope with this is I write out a scene. Either a simple everyday task or a larger event. Something to get your characters to start moving. Are your characters in the middle of a war? Well now is a good time for them to take a trip to the supermarket, or have a slumber party. Why? Because you can. When you are stuck, write out a scene. It can be as easy as a heart to heart conversation between two people, or two people arguing about what they are going to eat for their next meal. Sure it might not make sense in the context of the story, but you know what? It might make sense somewhere else in your novel, and even if it doesn’t you will come out of the other side with a better understanding of your characters or your world.
4. Take Breaks
Trust me when I tell you that it is okay to take breaks. Go eat, check your twitter, get up and move. These kinds of things can help you get inspiration or get your mental juices flowing. If you are just sitting there staring blankly at a white screen you will be going nowhere fast and that is the last thing you want. Just don’t spend the next 5 hours playing Overwatch. That’s not a break.
5. Read
Hear me out on this one. Read? That sounds like stupid advice. Well, if you are a writer then you most definitely love to read too right? Reading, whether it be your favorite book, a cool article or even a comic can get you in the mode. Remind you of why you write in the first place. If you are not writing, try some reading. Trust me, it actually helps more than you would think!
Well to all you NaNoWriMo’s out there, or writers in general. I hope some of these tips and can help you out on your magical writing journey. They have definitely helped me at times. Good luck with your word count!
Photography Fridays
-Promise I will become more constant with posts!!!-
This edition of Photography Fridays is MACRO Photography!!
Macro Photography has a certain charm to it that makes so mesmerizing!! It’s like finding your favorite food at a restaurant and adding a touch of sauce or extra oomph to bring out the extra flavor of the meal; The same meal, but with more depth.
We go through life taking things as they are and see the world how it’s initially perceived. Macro photography takes that same scene blows it up!! Kind-of like a dog that goes right up to your face so you can’t ignore it; same space/place, but much more dog in your face!!
Macro-Photography does take seemingly ordinary things in life a expand the view. It is a way of seeing things that go by unnoticed. The expression stop and smell the roses doesn’t stop at the flower sniffing! Take a chance to look around and use your senses to take in what’s around you!..well probably except for taste..unless you’re in a kitchen, well maybe steer away from licking everything; TLDR takes a chance to take it all in!!