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Film Photography Friday 07.19.2019
Film Photography
As like many photographers I was exposed to film photography at an early age. Now before I get ahead of myself, I am not some pro-photography that has decades of film experience. Quite the contrary I was exposed to film mostly from my grandmother through her Olympus film camera. It was nothing fancy; essentially a point and shoot that shot film. But it got me hooked on the “film look” and the tactic feeling of printed pictures.
This was my gateway drug to photography. I have always been into technology and cameras were no exception. I became absorbed with the whole idea of; This camera has that feature or this camera has better low light, full-frame, dynamic range, etc. I wasn’t until about a month ago that I decided to get into film photography.
What a breath of fresh air. Strangely, some hunk of metal made in the ’80s could bring me so much joy. I snagged a Canon AE-1 with FD 50 f1.4 off eBay for under 100$ and could not be happier! This camera was built so solidly compared to cameras of today. Something about the exposed metal body and the microprism for guiding manual focus just felt so right. The lens itself is also a tank. I am in love with the heavy metal body and a buttery smooth focus ring. A testament to the time of yesteryears where things were built to last a lifetime.
The main thing about film photography that I love is the time it takes for everything. You have 36 pictures on 1 roll of film. Then you plan a picture, take it, and that’s the end. We nowadays have so much storage and memory on SD cards that we can keep taking pictures so much so that we lose the precious moment in favor of being able to keep shooting. The frantically post it for all to see cause the generation of ” look at what I did right now!” has been such a drag. Don’t get me wrong modern camera tech is great, but it is exhausting. Think of it like before and after the invention of emails. Letters take a while to mail therefore you plan your writing accordingly and hope it is not anything urgent because it might take a week. Whereas now, we are easily bombarded with hundreds of emails with this expectation that because it gets to us quickly we can get to it just as fast! Sometimes things get too convenient for our good. Film for me was a good step back to simplicity and little more effort.
Yes, I still appreciate digital photography and it is going to stay for a lot longer, but the point remains that the less you have the more you think about it. For the film, these moments are given more thought because there are only so many pictures you can take. This leaves more of the time to be enjoyed at the moments and save the headache of culling hundreds of pictures. When it comes time to develop the film, I bring it to a store that specializes in developing the film. This is arguably my favorite part of shooting film. The period that takes 1 or 2 days for the company to process the film, shorter if you do it yourself, allowing your head to empty of those moments temporarily.
It is when you walk into the store and pick up the prints that you get that nostalgia feeling. Wow… the prints from the film have feeling and memories that you hope were captured all come flooding back. The nice and not so great shots are in the classic paper photo bag along with the negatives for the future. Holding the memories even if they were a few days old and looking at it has a distinct characteristic to it. The way the film renders the detail, color, and texture is phenomenal.
After talking to the employees at the film lab and learning about the intricacy of film I would like to develop my film someday, but until then I will pay the 20$ for developing printing, and USB scans. Film is a whole different beast to me. I will be with me for as long as I live because unlike digitals cameras the keep getting an update with 4k video, larger sensors, and better tech my film camera will glad snap a photo of any caliber with a fresh roll of film and wind of the shutter.
Photography, Pheelings, Priday 06.28.2019
What is success?
This questions emerged when my other uncle, fathers stepbrother, was talking to me about my late father. He said it’s a shame what happened to my family having lost my parent from the results of a car accident. Reminiscing, he said my father was a very successful man and proceeded to tell me more. He added that between all his brother and stepbrothers my father was the most successful. I was a bit shock because some of his siblings are in engineering or big studios making movies!
To me, I felt those were considered successful. I started to think about what “success”. Can success even be measured? He told me that despite the engineers or big production members in the family he found that the success and respect of my father to be the greatest because he made is own path out of nothing. “But plenty of people do that” in my smart-alec tone. His response was yes there are plenty of successful people, but you don’t need to believe you’re successful to BE successful. He said that my father, having escaped from Vietnam when he was 17, when to college for 2 years and started working right away to support his single mother and younger siblings. It was the sacrifices he made for this youngest brother for him be a senior engineer at JPL. Then my father was able to start his own business and start a family. Which I would say is successful, but are most people successful then?
Well yes and no. Everyone has a different meaning of success just like everyone has different preferences. Thinking about success is difficult when comparing what people say and what you believe. More than not they differ because people see you from the outside in and vice versa for you. I believe success is really up to the person themselves as some people have goals that keep pushing themselves further and further whereas others find it a success to roll out of bed in the morning. To each their own I suppose. That is not to say that people that aren’t doing well are not successful or people that are doing well are successful. There is just a lot to factor in.
I just recently watched a documentary on Robin Williams, a famed comedian, and actor, I would say he was successful and extraordinary on so many levels, but from his perspective in the documentary his humor itself was a coping mechanism for the struggles he felt inside; His “success” was from his emotional turmoil turned the other way. Definitely, something interesting to think about.
For me I am not sure. To this day I am not entirely sure what success is. Is it an accomplishment like unlocking an achievement on Xbox or is it an ongoing thing that continues until you leave the physical world hoping someone else recognizes it? Is it both or either one? Do you define it? Others? Can it be measures?
It’s hard to say. I believe everyone has a right to success but is more often skewed by the facets of life-changing the direction we believe is our own. I was told to grow up and be a doctor, therefore, my ambition grew to be in the technical field. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized I am more in tune with my creative side. That growing up listening to people only get you so far and that you need your own voice. That conflict is not always a bad thing and confronting it in a healthy manner is just as important.
Do I see myself as successful? Having survived the death of my parents and grandmother. Living in a life of expectation, uncertainty, and internal warfare?..The short answer is No.. My idea of success is leaving a legacy yet, even I see that is ambitions. Again, constant internal warfare, but as life progresses, I hope that someday I will feel as if I have carried the torch of my family.
To others, success is defined in your own words. You could say that being born is a success, but if that is the entire meaning of your life maybe think about it more. Remember, there are a lot of people in the world each with their own perspective of life and therefore success. You are your own person first and for most.
Photography, Feelings, Friday 6.21.2019
This past week has been a mixed bag of good, bad, and confusing. What I mean by this is that over the past week I have driven about 2000 thousand miles! YAASS, “A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton” Having Graduated with my Degree in Econ and Minor in Accounting this was the first summer I truly have off as a full-time student and working part-time.
The feeling is both relieving and frustrating. The reason is that for the past 17 years the school cycle has been ingrained into my head. Some people can’t wait to get out of the education system; I my self-included, but there is a part of me that is frustrated because I am left with no goal per se. I was working part-time and now I am in the process of transitioning to working full time. It is the empty feeling that leaves me feeling like I am meandering through limbo without a clear goal. I am going to miss learning in a classroom, meeting new people, and walking around; Yes, having worked part-time in an office job I learned sitting at a desk is annoying. I understand these are petty complaints, but are things that are drifting around in my head, nonetheless.
The other slice of the pie, at least initially, the first few weeks of freedom from school and work (took time off) was amazing. I was able to enjoy my hobbies such as gardening, photography, cooking, etc, but every day that past I felt my “freedom bar” dwindle. I enjoyed it but knowing the inevitable is what burdens me down. This past week has been rather a June gloom. Adding the fact that while I was on vacation to my hometown of Las Vegas, Nevada I was able to hang out with friends and family. Little did I know that was the last time I would talk to my best friends Dad. He was battling Parkinson’s for many years and Leukemia within the last year; Sadly, he passed away a few days after I visited him…leading me to drive back and forth twice to Las Vegas a cool 276 miles away from where I live in California.
The whole process was entirely the mixed bag of emotions. Firstly, going back to Las Vegas after 2 years to spend time with my childhood friends. It was a breath of fresh air to go back in the dry desert heat. I even stopped by Hoover dam, mostly cause my friend didn’t get out till 3 pm and I got there at 9 am… it was crazy to see how much the dam has changed. Literally, some of the islands are now small mountains!! Anyways, I was able to rekindle relationships with each of the few friends’ close friends. I was fortunate enough to join dinner with my friends, get a pedicure, and enjoy being together with them. It’s those times that I miss. Growing up in Las Vegas despite what people think it’s like it is a small town. There is not a lot to do there if you live there are under 21 and not on vacation . It is a chill rather mundane lifestyle where life is rather predictable. Compared to Los Angeles California when it is a dog eat dog world. I have grown accustomed to the chaos of LA traffic driving and all the diversity, but honestly, I get tired of thinking about where to park, factoring the cost of parking, accounting for traffic time, or wondering if it’s going to rain or not! There is a lot I appreciate in LA, yet, sometimes I don’t know if my true self belongs there. My life has always been “comfort in chaos” meaning I make the best of unfortunate situations. It can be that the chaos of LA is something that inspires me to push forward, but if that becomes normal isn’t it just a mundane.
I am truly grateful for my life, but there is a side of me that believes there is more, but for what? Shouldn’t I be happy with what God has given me now? Or is there more I need to push a challenge myself to be? Should I take the charge since I am young? or Should I take this time to “slow and grow” since I am young? I don’t know… Life always changed for me. The reality is we all pass at some point. The reality that flashed by within a week with fun with friends to mourning with families. There is no right or wrong way, but there is a way. I am stuck at the crossroads. With an amalgamation of different scenarios playing in my head.
Feelings, Photography, Friday 06.14.2019
Anxiety and Anger
At times I feel Anxious, I am sure we all do at some point. Whether I have an Anxiety disorder is a different story. The feelings emerged due to the loss of my parents not as direct response, rather the feeling associated with overwhelms me. Growing up without parents, the first-born male, and raised by traditional grandparents create a certain level of expectation.
I was taught to not show emotions or display anything that entailed inferiority/ weakness. However, reflecting from the past. My mother was an emotional person having rather intense anger and frustration when I would not focus on schoolwork [ pretty sure I have ADHD] to the point of striking me with various objects and tears. Whereas, my father was quiet and the “do everything myself” kind of guy.
How does that affect me? Well, I am kind of a blend. Mostly more reserved but have learned to open because it has helped me to process my emotions. The problem with my anxious feelings is they geared towards other people as a response. I mentioned my mother use to get extremely angry me. Now I’m adverse against people that have anger issues, I simply do not get along with them because I am the quiet and reserved person. It bothers me that the angry person is able to speak out over me with no care about anything but themselves ‘being anger’ when I am trapped in my head think about how the response. I feel like I am literally talking to a brick wall. Angry people are irrational!! Therefore, once some on is deemed an angry person in my book when I talk to them [ if I talk to them] I can feel my heartbeat increase and fight or flight reactions being to take effect.
That response manifested into panic attacks or becoming overwhelms when I was with my Ex She had her problems, but I sought to look past that. Unfortunately, I became the punching bad that carried the burdens of someone with dad issues, anger issues, depression, and anxiety. With all the raw emotions especially when anger struck when I was not at fault; there would be a sensation of my chest about to collapse inside of me. This is what made me actively avoid people with anger issues. But low and behold, my uncle, of whom I live with, has anger issues.
Therefore, it makes it incredibly difficult to deal with my uncle. Not to say he is a bad guy; he just gets really worked upon what he has to say whether it is right or wrong; he is apparently always right. From that point, there is two “voices” battle in my head. The first one trying to get me out of the conversation short answer, quick phrases, or statement that try to wrap up the conversation quickly. The other “voice” is the fight in fight or flight, this one is accompanied by a higher heart rate and my brain trying to figure out why what’s going on in their brain that is making them upset; essentially I frustrate my self by trying to rationalize their angry irrationality. So far, the way I cope with extra emotions is with my hobby’s such as photography, cooking, or gardening. As well as talking about it. As far as other emotions go, I was always the person that would listen to friends or families if they had an issue and was able to express how I feel to others. The real issue I am working with is how to deal with angry people. How I would like to express it to people that are angry is telling them “get over it!” because I feel that it is a waste of time to get angry at something.
Disclaimer, feeling angry is normal, but I talking about being angry as there is a difference between some feeling anger as a result of something versus being an angry person.
Lyrically Sound: Cave In
Having to watch the ones you love suffer from drug addiction is a kind of experience that you can’t quite describe. It is a mixed amalgamation of feelings, whether it be sadness, hatred, or frustration. All these things swirl around inside you as you try to make sense of it all, especially if you are at a young age where you don’t quite understand how addiction works. This is the subject of I The Mighty’s new single “Cave In” and boy is it a doozy.
When I first listened to this song, (and several times after) I thought at first it was a song being narrated by the voice inside your head. You know the one. That gnawing at the back of your brain telling you that you should do something that isn’t good for you. The voice that wants nothing but the worst for you. The enemy of your well being. But this wasn’t the case, I figured that out after lingering on the lyrics “That’s a part of me that will never leave.” And realized what the songs narrative really was, so let me explain.
“Cave In” is narrated by someone recounting memories of the times a loved one has fallen prey to their addiction and the feelings that lingered in their wake. In this case, it is most likely a parent the narrator is talking about, but It could be anyone and the song makes it easy to apply to our own experiences because it is a feeling all of us who have gone through this have felt.
“It came down to a choice.”
This is opening line to the song, and where it all starts. When you first realize what you are dealing with. Unsure, unaware and very uncertain. It always starts with a choice. Some might even argue it was never a choice, to begin with, but that doesn’t stop you from thinking it. At least not at the beginning.
” I heard it take shape in your voice. To let me know it wasn’t you”
It’s funny the little things you remember while in the moment of these kinds of situations. You may not know when, where, why, or how you felt in that moment, but what you do remember was the sound of their voice and how completely not “them” they were. Addiction starts to take shape inside a person, twisting them into a person you can’t recognize.
“And again, and again and again. You stay sick, get your fix. Even if you couldn’t see it. Cause you’re a shadow of yourself. ”
Again. It continues to happen despite your best efforts. Despite your love. Despite the fact, you thought you knew better. Even when they tell you it won’t. It does until they are nothing but a shadow of who they use to be.
Is this it? Is this it? Is this it?”
At that moment you finally understand that whatever you are dealing with is something more than you’re used to. That this demon is not something you can slay.
“This is sick.”
It is something more. It’s a sickness that you are unable to cure and that revelation is like nothing else. When you know you are useless to help. It is almost as all-consuming as the very addition that plagues the person that is sick.
What do you do then? The only thing you can do. The only thing you know how to do.
“Cave in, Knowing your throwing it all away.”
You get angry. It starts with anger as you yell at them. “Just do it!” you say because you don’t care about them anymore, even though it’s all you care about.
“Cave in, Losing everything you’ve ever wanted.”
You beat yourself up wondering why they are doing what they are doing when they clearly know it’s hurting them. How do you stop it? You can’t.
“All the memories, and no apology. That’s a part of me that will never leave.”
And you cry because you know there is nothing you can do.
“I still remember how it felt.”
Addiction makes everyone suffer. Not just the person going through it, but everyone around them has to watch as they see their loved one spiral downwards into a never-ending cycle of torment. That is something you never forget, from the first time to the last.
The second verse is very similar to the first, just a different memory is being used. This time however you know it’s not the first and it lets you know this by marking the passage of time. Going from “Is this it?” to “Take a hit.” The narrator shows they have gone through this cycle so many times now that they have given up trying to help. It’s heartbreaking but so very real.
This is “Cave In” and all I could really say after listening to it was “Wow”.
The lyrics are few, mostly consisting of the chorus being played over and over, but the little lyrics that are had aren’t wasted. Each one tells the pieces of a tragic story and drowns them out with a chorus to highlight the feelings the narrator has towards memories. There is even a moment in the song where the lead singer Brent is just yelling out in pain. It is a powerful song that is beautifully written and truly deserves more attention. Brent Walsh is seriously an amazing songwriter and even if you are not a fan of pop-rock/post-hardcore music, I think you can at least appreciate the kind of passion this band pours into each of their songs.
Feelings and Friday 05.17.2019
Worrying
The topic of worrying about someone or something has always slightly irked me. Especially, when someone is worried about me. I mean how I feel is that when someone is worried, they think that I am some drug addict that is overloading his share narcotics and avoiding the light of day. No, I don’t do drug, but I do get home late; they have no relationship. So then why do I feel this way?!
The example of drugs was hyperbole to state that when someone says “ I was worried about you or I am worried about you” to me implies that I have caused someone a terrible deal of pain that has caused them to be worried about my where beings. The specific reason that it bothers me today is that I was at the school studying for a final exam on Saturday from about 11:30 am to about 7 pm at night then I had a church event at night at 7:30 pm and stayed back to help class. I didn’t get home until about 10:45 pm. Now I am 23 years old and the last person to do anything “bad” at night. I WENT TO A CHURCH EVENT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! But for some reason when I get home at 10:45 pm go to my room and get ready for bed I hear my uncle utter to himself “ it’s late Hughes isn’t home yet?” then with some creaking stairs down to the door then up to my room “ knock knock knock”. I open the door to see him standing there rubbing his eye after he had washed his face for bed..checking to see if I was home. Then with a statement “how come you can home so late? I was worried about you”
I feel like normal people would think that’s so sweet someone was worried about by safety blah blah blah. For me is the opposite, I feel like I have done something wrong or bad to put them in a state of panic and frustration. Therefore, my position is that I am the cause of the anguish by causing the other person to worry. Why I feel that it upsets me more is the fact that usually I will text my uncle “ hey I am going to be home late don’t lock me out or I will lock up when I get home” though I am usually pretty good at texting, in this situation I didn’t due to the timing and lack of priority of the task because I was studying( my taxation class where we prepared taxes for people, but have no reading material to cover except for the whole friken tax publication..like what gives professor) and had something to do after.
This leads me to another tangent. Having to text someone your whereabouts so they know. First of my uncle is a very smart man when it comes to technical things, he is the guy. But when it comes to interpersonal relationship look somewhere else. He is the same person to install cameras all over our house and his mother in laws house without asking so he can watch the footage for potential threats; only him because he gets worried about everything. He also wants to know where anyone is at any given time and gets disgruntled when someone doesn’t tell him. AND he will get disgruntled if he doesn’t agree with it and try to prevent it from happening. ISSUE ALERT! if you tell him and he doesn’t agree PROBLEM and if you don’t tell him PROBLEM.
It relates my me a little bit more is that regards as I volunteer at the church a lot, he doesn’t see the value even if I do; So he will put his beliefs on me and has straight up told me “ I think you are spending too much time at church focus on your studies” I don’t know about you but I manage my own life thank you very much AND most parent want would probably want their kids at church anyways
I digress.
When he said he was worried about me it felt like I did something bad like sneak out to rob a bank or something even though I was studying then had to attend a team night at church. I did not text him which would have spared his worry, but in the event, I didn’t which this is not the only time I have had team night or got home late, but added to the frustration of the worry because I WASN’T DOING ANYTHING WRONG!!! So then why the worry?! Because I didn’t tell you?! Why does it matter I was studying which is my concern!! To make matters more flustering it is a two-way street, as in he has told me that “yeah taking 5 classes is tough I had to study all day and night. I only went out once a month at the most” congratulations? I am not looking for solutions and I AM NOT YOU! I already look at the perspective from my own and other peoples. It just seems like he is only looking in his own perspective and believes it I the only way to do it because he did it
So my point it..writing helps to see it out take it out for a spin… In all seriousness, I don’t like people worrying about me because it makes me feel like I am hurting someone. I don’t like the feeling of hurting someone because I feel hurt from the inside. We have our differences, but it creates our own version of life. I still love my uncle, but he just thinks differently. He grew up with his dad my grandpa who was old, traditional, strict and taught him to trust himself and do everything on your own because people lie and cheat. While I grew up with his mom my grandma who lived by enforcing, nurturing, open-minded and believed friend, family, the community can help each other out if you take the opportunity to talk to them.
Songs About Mental Health
I cannot begin to describe to you how much music has impacted my life. It has most definitely shaped me into the person I am today, and frankly, without it, I don’t know where I would be today. That is why today I would like to discuss mental health when used in music and why I think it is so important. From when I started listening, to now.
I’ve already talked about all the reasons lyrics are important, but I want to address it again because I think without lyrics, expression and connection are lost. There is an extra layer of depth lyrics bring to a song, making you not only feel, but understand.
I think this is the main reason certain people gravitate towards certain genres of music. You will always move towards something you can connect with. To this end, there is a reason people started listening to rock, metal, and all the other sub-genres that explored these themes. It wasn’t just because they thought it was the cool thing to do. They found solace in the fact that there were people out there expressing the very feelings they didn’t know how to do themselves in a time where mental health was never really talked about.
Now I am not saying we still don’t have work to do today in this regard, but we have definitely taken steps toward betterment. When all you have are the words of people you don’t know, you cling to them and never let go because it was the only thing you had in your life that made you feel like you weren’t a freak.
An example of this was when I first heard someone utter these two verses that still stick with me to this day.
“Here I stand.
Empty hands.
wishing my wrists were bleeding
to stop the pain from the beating.”
Red Sam – Flyleaf
and
“Pain, without love.
Pain. I can’t get enough.
Pain. I like it rough
cause I rather feel pain than nothing at all.”
Pain – Three Days Grace
I remember being in shock but then feeling this wave of relief as I realized that I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. It’s life-changing. That might seem like an exaggeration. A kid listening to edgy music thinks he is edgy, but it was, and I’m sure for a lot of people it still is today. Back then all we had were songs. And those songs paved the way to building a community of people who could grow and help each other. Sure it had its problems, but no longer did we feel like outcasts. We could cry out the lyrics
“It’s like I’m paranoid, looking over my back.
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head.
It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within.
It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin”
Papercut – Linkin Park
and know we were not alone.
Today is a little different, however. Although you can find the same kind of music floating around, songs regarding mental health have not only evolved for better but have spread out to other genres of music, like rap, with the artist Logic and his lyrics.
“Maybe I’m just overthinkin’
Or maybe I’m just over-smokin’ and drinkin’
And when I can’t deal with the hate, I self-medicate
Sit in the corner and think of a better day
Maybe this bullet can help me to get away
I just cannot seem to think of a better way.”
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind – Logic
Artists sing a bit different now because we have a better grasp of what mental health is and what it looks like. We know ways of dealing and know getting help isn’t a sign of weakness. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, you just have to fight for it.
“When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don’t dare let darkness have its way with me
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight.”
Hope For Morning – Icon For Hire
No longer are songs just an outcry or an expression of something we don’t understand. It is an expression BECAUSE we understand, and I feel like that is the key difference.
Songs about mental health are important because it helps shine a light on the idea that people (many more with each generation) go through these things. And detection is the first step to getting better.
I would like to end on a verse from a very important song by Twenty One Pilots because although we are taking strides in the right direction, there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed where connection turns to obsession.
“Don’t get me wrong, the rise in awareness
Is beating a stigma that no longer scares us
But for sake of discussion, in spirit of fairness
Could we give this some room for a new point of view?
And could it be true that some could be tempted
To use this mistake as a form of aggression?
A form of succession?
A form of a weapon?
Thinking “I’ll teach them”
Well, I’m refusing the lesson
It won’t resonate in our minds
I’m not disrespecting what was left behind
Just pleading that it does not get glorified
Maybe we swap out what it is that we hold so high
Find your grandparents or someone of age
Pay some respects for the path that they paved
To life, they were dedicated
Now, that should be celebrated”
Neon Gravestones – Twenty One Pilots
Let’s continue to be better, and if you ever need help or need someone to talk to the suicide prevention lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress. 1-800-273-8255. You can also visit their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ for help and other resources.
All the songs and others can be found in the playlist below on Spotify.
Photography & Pheelings 05.09.2019
My apologies for missing the past few posts with school wrapping up quickly and deadlines coming up this have been quite chaotic. Over the years of life, you’ll see many things change. People come and go; identities and mentalities shift over time.
The current topic of this “photography phriday” is to able to capture the things I remember most despite changes that happened from losing lost one to moving and figuring things out on my own. For one school was always there. Whether it made this better or worst it was something that was present; occupying life as a temporal chamber of the social interactions and learning experiences. A window to how you as a teenager interact with seemingly hundreds of people per day. Where time beings to jump around an expectation of an adult begin to cement while you are still very much a kid on the inside simply learning about life itself.
The teenager disposition of life creates this disconnection where a child growing up may need to learn on their own through; Therefore, having their own personal experience, yet at this point, they still have to ask permission to hang out with friends. A strange place of life limbo. Nevertheless, the aspects of education were always around me as much as friends were. To this day I still keep into regular contact with my childhood friends. All thanks to the education system.
Yet the part that throws me off is people, especially older people, believe that education is the only thing in life that will get you anywhere. I grew up in a family that had the equivalent of an associates degree. Meanwhile, here I am deciding to pursue my Master’s degree. Part of me wants to think I am doing for me, but the other part feels like it is because of everyone around my superiors are inundating me with the beliefs that life will all be better with a higher degree. So then what is it?!
Sure that statistics show that people with higher degrees make more money and have a better life. That’s great and all, but does that include things like loan payments, missing social aspects of life, overstressing yourself, or anything else of that nature? Again, I am fine with higher education; I chose to go myself, but the parts I don’t understand is why people believe some people to keep going when it is not their things. The fact of the matter is some people do not flow with school life and this is understandable; The problem is other people forcing them to go. Here is what irks me. Students, especially those right out of high school are usually told to go to college without actually preparing or wanting to go to college.
This leaves them meandering through the college system with no idea what to do. So they end up taking space, wasting time in the college system, and using resources. I believe if they want to go to college than they would take the steps to do so as many do. Also, it seems that parents or guardian figures try to up play college as an all cure to solve problems. IT IS NOT!! I am a firm believer the people decided what they do, if they figure out they want to go to college later that’s fine.
My belief is that micromanaging someone’s life does not get them anywhere as they become dependent on someone else to control it, and once it is in their own hand they don’t know what to do.
Think of it like a person growing up very sheltered. Yes, they are “protected” from the real world, but at the end of the day, we live in the real world. Therefore, at some point, they are going to have to deal with all of it. Similar story with the school. Parents want their child to be successful. However, forcing them to go to college is not the approach that should be taken. Rather giving them the option or a choice, not ultimatums, is probably the better choice. As then they are choosing the path for themselves for their own future. Does it sound selfish? a tiny bit, then again it is your life so YOU choose and YOU take the repercussions.
Photography Phridays 04.05.19
My first experience of going to a baseball game, at 23years old, was nothing short of stellar. Growing up most people developed their “likeness” of a sports team by their parent, friends, or that one uncle. However, for me I did not particularly care for watching sport, rather, I would prefer to play them than sit still an watch someone else run around. Needless to say, I was never good enough at sports to develop a deeper connection while watching teams play.
Nevertheless, my first time at a Dodgers game was fantastic!! From the almost slipping in the Shuttle to all the dodger dogs the experience was absolutely something amazing. I went with a few friends and might have snuck in some fermented beverages along with other snacks..anyways watching the Dodger play against the Giants was pretty good. The Tuesday, April 2nd game was close 12-11 making it quite a treat even though I didn’t understand the game entirely.
Seeing and hearing the whole crowd cheer, boo, yell, scream, and all the other noise
Lyrically Sound: Love is an open door
With the most recent hype concerning the existence of Frozen 2 and my overall love for the movie myself, I thought it necessary on the fine day of April 1rst to do a lyrical analysis of one of my favorite Frozen songs. I would also like to take this time in explaining to you why I think Hans was a tragic character who we might have shrugged away too fast.
So let us start with the basics. “Love is an Open Door” is a song about love, and how it resembles a door. Yep. An inanimate object. I mean, obviously, the door is a metaphor for something, but I’m not really sure what that could be. When I walk through a door all I…. OH I GET IT. *Cough cough* Anyway. What was I saying? Oh yeah, the song.
Well, let’s forget the song for a second and back up a little in time. After all, this is a song based in a movie, so to understand the song you must first understand the movie.
Okay, Okay. So in the movie, the character Anna is a girl who is desperate to connect with someone from the outside world. She longs to find someone she could share all the love she has held up inside her, the very same love that her sister was unwilling to accept. Because of this, it makes her prone to mistakes. Like a girl who is having a night out on the town, who just got dumped, and has had way too many shots of tequila. So when Hans comes along she falls face first into his big strong arms… and those gorgeous, lush, mutton– *cough cough* So she falls in love and here we are.
The opening to the song starts off with Anna saying,
“Okay, Can I just say something crazy.”
Anna
and
“I love crazy.”
Hans
Okay,
Now to Hans’ credit, I think he did, in fact, fall in love with Anna just like she did him. It’s plastered all over the song. How else would he have known she was going to sing about sandwiches!? That kind of knowledge only comes from true love! And he literally says,
“I’ve been searching my whole life to find my own place, —- but with you, —– I’ve found my place and it’s nothing like I’ve ever known before.”
WHO SAYS THAT AND ISN’T IN LOVE!? A sociopath!? I THINK NOT. Hans loved Anna. He had to or he would not have opened up to her, just like a door… no pun intended. *cough cough* and he would have continued to love her if it were not for his stupid pride and desire to prove himself. That’s right, this dude got a whole backstory right under our noses! Let me explain.
So Hans is a prince to a big family, and because he was born… well practically last, if not last he had no chance to gain the throne unless it was through marriage. I’m sure he was bullied and told that he would never amount to anything. He had a lot of pressure on his shoulders to make something of himself. So when he found out about Arendale and the princess’ he took his shot. But who wouldn’t take their shot, prove the people who always told him he would be nothing that they were wrong? I’m sure he didn’t actually expect to fall in love, to meet someone
“who thinks so much like me, jinx, jinx again.”
It left Hans with a difficult choice, betray the one thing that made him feel love for the first time or be the nothing that everyone said he would be. His choice was justified really, and it was tragic that he would even have to make it, slamming the door on not only love but his chance to prove himself. Tragic.
So maybe love should be a closed door that someone needs to knock first to get into. Like, come on Anna, who lets a stranger into their house!?
Where was I going with this? Happy April first everyone! I’ll upload real content soon! Hopefully…