See what we're up to!
Hello, people of the internet!
It has been a while since my last post..sorry about that
My last post being in August has been quite the trip. From that point forward my friend and I are doing alright. We are still friends in the sense of not being strangers to each other. Even got her a Christmas gift( nothing fancy just some snacks and a plushy).
The conversation we had had, through discord chat, was headache-inducing. I don’t know what I do to myself, but I fancied her chill relaxed nature and constant begging for food. I would often order her pizza e-gift cards. Then we would watch videos via web streaming. For some reason, I enjoy the lax consistent of this person. Part of me believes it was to mask the internal chaos of my personal life.
But yeah, the reason for the Blog o’ frustration in August was because she blocked via discord. Later I learned it was a joke and that kinda put me on edge because I am the kind of person that treats everyone as genuinely as I can and never want to make someone feel bad or misconstrue feelings.
Since then we have talked and are still on good terms. But yeah I cared too much and she didn’t care at all so that created a Hodgepodge of headaches on my end.
Complied by the fact that I was working from home due to COVID and in the process of purchasing a truck everything was kicked up a notch.
In other news, my sister has a Boyfriend, one of my friends back in high school. I honestly think it is good because he a nice guy and she that kind of person that focuses on what she needs to do so someone that is chill, easy-going, and enjoys board games if perfect.
Meanwhile, I feel like I’m not getting anywhere, but for now, it’s fine I don’t care at this point.
This leads me to another point.
At the beginning of 2020, I thought life was finally shaping up for me. I had started working at Makita as a temporary hire and had a good chance of being hired according to my peers. However, that was cut short due to the COVID lockdown in March right after my birthday.
That was the first strike to me as I was hoping to move at some point in 2020. Fortunately, I was able to get a job at LPL as a temp worker. That was my first experience working from home and although at first, I was ok, it kind of wore me down mentally as consistently being in the same place day in and day out.
The feeling of it being the same made it seem like a drag. I was essentially isolated in my room working as a Portfolio specialist. The task itself was ok once I got the hang of it. The mental burden of being at home surrounded by the same people is what got me and I’m sure you all know my rants on how unpredictable my uncle is. That was a 6-month contract only adding to my anxiety because I had known it wasn’t going to be long term.
During that point, I was able to buy my dream truck at financed prices of 335 per month. The largest purchase in my life putting 7k down, trading in my sedan, and paying per month for it. Maybe it wasn’t wise because I knew that my time at the old job was short, yet that was the very reason I kicked up to high gear. In the end, I was happy with my purchase. I wish I was more vigilant in trying to drop the price of the truck more.
As after I got the truck there were a few things that I need to get done.
I could have negotiated down maybe 2-4 grand off I mentioned these things. Most of which I could have pointed out. In my head, all I kept thinking was checked to see if the frame was ok just in case it was a salvage unit that was miss represented. It cost me just about 4k for everything I have done to the vehicle including accessories and fixing the items.
But that is all a sunk cost now it has become incredibly useful as a family hauler and a utility vehicle. I love my truck and have no regrets about the truck itself.
Fortunately, during that time was able to find a job at an old place I used to work at. They paid about the same, so I was not out of work for that long. Again, it was a short-term project because they need some to help with Office admin stuff like billing and excel work.
Now fast forward to the future I am working at a new job that I hope to stay for the long term. It’s a great company and I hope I can be an asset for the long term. Yet currently I do not have much access to the systems and so I spend a lot of my day just chilling.
Which is kind of nerve-wracking because it is not much for me to do; I feel like I am just an intern twiddling my thumbs. I have learned some of the procedures but knowing me I need to do it by hand until I get the feel of it. Again, the issue is having limited access and I am working at home 3 days out of the week so Zoom is the only way I can get taught.
I don’t know maybe I am overthinking it but I feel wrong getting paid for doing little. Also, I am nervous when things do start to pick up because I am afraid, they might expect too much when I am not ready. This feeling of being inadequate is throwing me for a loop.
I am happy nonetheless that I am finally working on something for the long term and that the company is secure as we live a breath on this earth.
Also, I don’t know why but I feel like I have little motivation to learn at home. I find it incredibly difficult to focus. Again, I am surrounded by my room which is where I play games and sleep. Should I focus on something if I am not interested I just get sleepy…. sigh, I’m a hot mess.
But yeah that is me and my life currently. Staying safe and getting a move on my life slowly and surely
I will try to keep this blog more active! I just needed a break to reassess plus if there is not anything interesting to talk about I don’t really why to write anything lol.